Friday, January 16, 2009

too many emotions

sometimes I blame myself, should I?

I've always taught my daughters the importance of family and for the past year I've been thinking maybe I shouldn't have...I've had more tears shed on my shoulders and more screaming fits than I care to count but if I didn't encourage them to have the relationship they had with my Granny they wouldn't be feeling so much pain...they cry themselves to sleep almost every night wrapped in the blanket Granny made them when they were born

my poor Jenna...she cries or screams at the drop of a hat and is always worried something bad is going to happen to someone else she loves...she got off the bus crying and I asked her why, she said she couldn't find Chelsey and she thought something had happened to her and she couldn't live without her sister...Chelsey did get on the bus that day she was just a few minutes behind the group she usually comes out with

I feel like it's all my fault, I know one day they will treasure the memories they have but right now it's hard to see past the pain

I know most of my post lately are full of tears but that's were my life is right now...sorry

2 comments:

Sherrie said...

Oh wow...that's such a hard thing to deal with. I can only imagine what it must be like, and I seriously dread having to go through the same thing with Caleb. I don't think you're wrong for encouraging close relationships...if anything, I respect and admire that. Too many people throw family to the wayside these days, and we have to remember...they've all we really got sometimes. So, no...keep encouraging those close relationships. Also, just give them the time needed to grieve. Be there for them, and let them cry as often as they need to. I wish I had more wisdom, but I don't. Hang in there. You're all in my prayers!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

maybe that won't last too much longer. Did you ever talk to the preacher?